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2020: The Year Push-Ups Were First Invented


Great coaches and trainers don’t steal. They just take something that was already there and name it after themselves. Yoga too pagan-y for you then, how about mobility? Circuit training too YMCA-y for you then how about CrossFit? Dancing too dance-y for you then how about Zumba? CrossFit too CrossFit-y for you then how about F45? We could go on forever because it does go on forever.

 

During the Great Pandemic of 2020, however, coaches and trainers have been left in the dust by one simple invention that seemingly came out of nowhere. No barbells, no problem. No dumbbells, no problem. No kettlebells, no problem. You have a floor? Yes? Good, because you can push it away with your arms and get GAINZ!

 

 

The Push-Up is the Press-Up We’ve All Been Waiting For

Coaches and trainers everywhere have discovered push-ups, also called press-ups. Without a gym to showcase their implement envy, our fitness gurus are relying on people to do what people have done since the beginning of time.

 

Push-ups were invented in the later prehistoric period when the first humans started to sleep on their stomachs and were forced to push themselves off rapidly from the cave floor and start running to avoid being eaten by a sabertooth tiger or velociraptor.

 

It could have been either one, but it happened a lot so, after a while, prehistoric man – realizing that the quicker you pushed yourself off the floor, the quicker you could start running – started to do push-ups to improve escape velocities within the tribe.

 

However, after aliens came down to earth and ate all the sabertooth tigers and velociraptors, the need for push-ups just disappeared and no one did them until some time in February 2020, on Instagram when the first trainers facing a stay at home order invented push-ups and took three minutes to explain the complications of getting them right.

 

Push-Ups Are King

Joking aside, push-ups are your strength and conditioning salvation right now. And we are not above patronizing you with push-up knowledge-bombs. Below, you’ll find a whole bunch of videos from the Breaking Muscle YouTube Channel that could be helpful.

 

In addition, you can try this 8-Week Workout Plan for Push-Up Strength and Power.

 

We’re all a little cranky about not lifting weights as much as we’d like so let’s look at a push-up variation with some dumbbells. Like most addicts, we need this fix.

 

 

Then there’s that gliding thing. You can probably find a bunch of videos on social media where people are doing glide push-ups using rags on a polished wooden floor, you know, they’re working out and keeping their place clean. It’s hilarious. We wish we had thought of it first. Not.

 

 

 

If you don’t like our snarky tone then you really need to try Coach Shane Trotter’s videos and training programs. He’s a good man and a great instructor.

 

 

Of course, one surefire way of making everything about strength is to slow it down. Temp training not only kills time but makes for effective strength building. The simplest movement with little or no weight can become a challenging feat.

 

 

And, finally, cardio is great. Running may not be an option, and you may not have a treadmill or rower, but spiderman push-ups are the next best thing. Do it at a brisk tempo and it’ll open up those lungs. Do it in a slow and a controlled manner and it will be open up those joints.

 

 

Hope all these push-ups keep you sane. Stay healthy. Stay safe.





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